I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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