My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
