I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
