I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
