Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
