I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
