Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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