the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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