3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize