at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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