god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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