you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
