I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize