How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
