Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
