The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
