Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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