i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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