She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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