We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
