my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
