I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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