considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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