She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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