plz talk dirty to me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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