She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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