I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bring me that man meat
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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