Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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