Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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