She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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