I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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