goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
