in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
