Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
