Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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