do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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