So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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