i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Randomize
