I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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