Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
