Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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