Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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