Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i came on her dog
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
