I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
