I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You can't special order awesome
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
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You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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