Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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