First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
