His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
