Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
