I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize