the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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