Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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