nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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