Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
