ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
