last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
