we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What a dumb baby whore.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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