Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
