Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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