the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
