I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
