you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize