ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize