Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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